A Glass of Class: Not For Kids Under 21

Candy Crasher

1 generous handful of Warheads candies (make sure they’re all the same flavor)

3 shots Bacardi 151

2 scoops of ice

Blend the ingredients together, liquefying the ice and candies.

So, Calvin and I came into possession of a massive bag of candy this past week. As a testament to just how much willpower we have, we didn’t end up eating ourselves into diabetic blindness. However, this meant a good amount of candy was left in the bag by Friday. Neither of us wanted it taking up space, but we couldn’t waste such a glorious testament to how childish we are. So, I threw some Warheads (my favorite) into a blender, added some Bacardi and ice, and just let the bastard grind for a bit. What emerged was a frothy green abomination, challenging our sensibilities. It was an absurd collision of childhood and adulthood, gurgling in the highball; I’m almost certain I faintly heard it say “kill me.” We were less than enthusiastic about tasting what looked like a bad idea, but I manned up and decided to dignify my creation with a sip. I sloshed it around, looked into the glass, and took another; the drink’s tangy-sweet mix had just enough of a bite from the rum to make it taste right. We were astounded that such a stupid idea turned out well, but it looks like it did. Not only does it taste good, it’s a great talking point at parties when people ask just what the hell it is. I recommend, if you choose to embark on this trip into absurdity, that you experiment with it, though (especially with how it looks. Try to make it less…vomity.)

–The sweet and sour C & L

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A Glass of Class: Basilicola

Basilicola

Half a lowball of cola
1 oz lime juice (about a shot and a half)
Basil leaves
A few shot glasses full of vodka (how many depends on how many drinks you’re making)

Leave the basil in the vodka shots, muddling it a bit to release the flavors. Leave it to sit for 30-45 minutes, then strain the basil out. Mix everything in the lowball. Garnish with a leaf of basil and/or a lime wedge.

Calvin’s apartment is a fantastic cyclone of random, unneeded shit from other people and places; it’s an amalgam of every college apartment you saw on The WB in 1997. He says he spent the summer acquiring odds and ends while he worked up here in the Ith. One thing stands out, to me at least: the lone basil plant growing in the windowsill. Nobody knows where it came from, it just sits overlooking Collegetown in mystery (that doesn’t stop us from making king’s cup rules that involve eating basil leaves as punishment, though…) Anyway, the notion of making something with the basil has been on our minds since the year began, and one Friday, we finally had a breakthrough with the Basilicola. It’s almost serendipitous, too; we had the idea to strain vodka through the basil, but ended up absentmindedly leaving the shot glasses on the counter for some time. Think of this drink as citrus pucker on a budget. Lime juice is cheap, generic cola is cheaper, and…well, no, the basil was only free for us, but you understand.

–C and L